Rage of the Polymorphies

From: A Job Candidate
To: A Recruiter
Subject: Rejection 

The more I think about it, the more I think that maybe they just didn’t understand my answers?? They asked some very basic questions, but hey, I totally understand, not arguing with their decision, just saying…. Look, if they think I need to be more “artistic” I would like to show them how to kiss my goddamned ass…because that is motherfucking insulting. I will code those fucking pricks under the table, and I will design and animate them under the table, too, in 3D or 2D. No, I’m not educated in programming, but if you think for one second that I can’t code, you need to think again.

If you would like me to demonstrate in some fashion that I can indeed teach those amateur hour wannabes how to write real programs with math and such rather than wacking off to the definition of polymorphism of data types, please by all means make such a request if it will help you better understand how to place me in a company that knows what the fuck it is doing.

Thank you again, and I look forward to hearing from you.  

-Shawn  

____

Dear Sir, 

It is with great dismay I write today
To question why this job I could not land.
My answers truthfully were A-Okay.
Perhaps they thought that I was far too bland. 

And jobless now, I take another blow. 
Don’t fear for me or on my ‘half appeal.
But tell them, ‘stead, to kiss my fat asshole.
I’ll code those pricks beneath my black bootheel. 

In D of 3 or 2 I can animate
And program with exacting precision.
To math and reason I entrust my fate
And not to datatype polymorph’sm. 

To you I ask the fuck was on your mind
To place me with people unlike my kind?  

Thank you again and I look forward to hearing from you,

-Shawn